It's Spoof Time!
by la2319
Summary: Just little spoofs that pop into my brain occasionally. Oh, and the first one has to do with pudding! These are almost all going to be HG, and mainly postMoldywarts
1. Bloody Boyfriends

Ginny Weasley loved going to the Grocery.

She didn't know why. As a witch, she hardly needed to do that, and living in the heart of London made it even more unnecessary, as there were restaurants around every corner.

But every other Saturday, she found herself roaming around the market down the street, pushing an ugly red cart in front of her down each aisle.

She examined each cereal box and read the comics on the back, often buying a box if it promised a cute prize inside.

She compared every different kind of cookie, and sometimes she bought them all.

She stood in front of the freezer full of ice cream, debating whether the calories were worth it. Then she would decide, to hell with it, and grab the closest brand of Oreo ice cream they had.

This week Ginny was trying to decide which flavor of pudding to buy.

She stood in front of the rack, staring down first the chocolate, then the vanilla, then the mocha, then the S'more flavored, and back again.

"Having problems with the pudding, Gin?" asked someone as she continued to glare at the vanilla. A very male someone.

"Yes," she said, not bothering to turn around. He was almost the only one who called her Gin, and she'd become used to hearing him say it that the voice had clicked in her brain almost at once.

"Then perhaps . . . just grab one? And then you can lecture yourself later for picking it if it's the wrong choice," he was smirking at her, she could tell without even looking back.

"Pudding is an art, Harry. It is not to be taken lightly," she argued, moving on to the chocolate. It was putting up a very good fight, looking all delicious and whatnot.

"Then could you move? I'd like some yogurt," before she knew what was happening, a pair of strong male arms had picked her up from behind and moved her several feet to the left.

Mouth forming an 'O' Ginny watched Harry pick up a yogurt before pouting indignantly.

"Now I've got to start all over," she moaned, clearly annoyed that she would need to give more of her attention to the pudding when the candy aisle was so blatantly calling out to her.

"Here, you know it's your favorite," Harry shoved the box of S'more flavored into her cart and kissed the top of her head before walking off with his own cart.

"Bloody boyfriends," she muttered, before following him to the checkout.


	2. Welcome Home, Sirius

"Harry!" the girl called to him merrily from down the row of cages. "I think I've found the perfect one!"

He walked down to her and smiled, she was sticking her fingers in the cage again, even though the sign nearly level to her eyes warned her against it.

"Oh, really?" he asked, crouching down beside her.

"Isn't he precious?" she ruffled the fur of a great black dog that Harry found very familiar.

"Not as precious as you," he teased, wrapping his arms around her from the back.

"Harry, be serious," she whined.

"I can't be Sirius, but it looks like the dog can," Harry kissed the top of her head absently.

"Snuffles he is, then," she proclaimed.

Standing up, she straightened the beige cotton skirt that fell just above her knees. The one he loved.

"D'you think this is right—us buying a dog?" he asked suddenly, as if it were the toughest thing to decide.

"It's better than having a baby," she smiled at him, taking his hand.

"Are you sure?" Ginny giggled as he waggled his eyebrows at her.

Leaning back on him, Ginny looked down at the puppy they'd just dubbed Snuffles. It did look an awful lot like Sirius's animagus form, just mini-sized.

It looked pitifully up at them from behind the bars of the cage, before barking and wagging its tail to get their attention once more.

The nineteen year old smiled up at her fiancée, whom was also looking fondly at the dog.

"Harry, can we get him, please?" she begged, like a child asking their parent.

She blinked up at him and he could almost see her as a child, doing this to Mr. or Mrs. Weasley.

"Well," Harry pretended to play the role of apprehensive father in the puppy-buying excursion.

"Please?" she asked, pouting.

Harry chuckled and (playing along) said, "Alright, love."

Ginny kissed his cheek before kneeling back down and wiggling her fingers through the wires in the cage. She devoted her time to the puppy while Harry sorted out the boring paperwork.

Once they were all cleared, the pair of them shuffled the excited dog back to their house, Ginny cooing over it all the while like it was a new baby.

"Welcome home, Snuffles," she whispered, kissing the dog's black muzzle as they stepped into Grimmauld place.

She watched him roaming around and added quietly, "And welcome home Sirius."


	3. The Hungarian Horntail

"Oi, Potter," Ginny cried, stepping into the living room of her apartment. "Don't you have your own flat?"

"Yeah, but it's lonely there," Harry said idly, flipping through a magazine.

She raised her eyebrows in disbelief and lifted another spoonful of pudding out of the cup, "So you decide to scare me half to death by being in mine at random times?"

"Nah, that's just the fun part. Besides, you're the one who gave me the key," he smirked at her, showing her the silver key dangling off his key ring.

"Must've been a fit of insanity," she muttered, sitting down on her couch beside him.

"I wouldn't doubt that."

"So you really haven't come for a snog?" she asked suddenly, looking surprised.

Harry laughed, "Is that the only reason I'm allowed to see my girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

"No, I haven't just come for a snog. Although, that would be nice," he set down his magazine, waggling his eyebrows at her.

"Harry what're you hiding from me?" Ginny asked him suspiciously.

"N-nothing," he muttered, turning back to his magazine.

"Yes you are, what have you done?" she sat on her knees, facing him.

"I didn't do anything!"

"Yes you did!" Ginny poked him in the chest and he grimaced away from her, letting a hiss of pain escape his lips. "What did you do to your chest?"

"Nothing," he winced as she poked him again. "That hurts!"

"Because you've done something to your chest. Lift up your shirt."

"Aren't we going to have a bit of foreplay first?" he asked cheekily, earning himself another jab. "Alright, alright."

Harry pulled up his chest to reveal a roaring dragon present on his chest.

"What. The bloody hell. Is that?" Ginny asked, staring at his chest with her mouth dropped.

"A Hungarian horntail," Harry murmured under his breath.

"_What_ is it?" Ginny looked up at him fiercely.

"A Hungarian horntail," he said more clearly, and to his surprise, Ginny burst out laughing.

"You got a Hungarian horntail tattooed on your chest?" she giggled, clutching her stomach.

"Yes, I did!" he said indignantly.

"Was this just for kicks, or did you wake up in the morning and decide that you've always really wanted a great scaly thing to be ever-present on your skin?" she laughed, gesturing to his chest.

"I only did it 'cause you said," he muttered.

"I didn't tell you to ink yourself up!" she told him, still grinning.

"Well, no, but you told Romilda Vane—"

"Oh, Merlin!" she cried, mouth dropping open once more. "You remembered that?" he nodded. "And you decided that the best way to declare your love would be to get a dragon tattooed on your chest like I told Romilda Vane?" he nodded again, sheepishly this time. "Harry James Potter, you are the most amazing boy I've ever met!"

"Ginny, I—wait, what?" he looked confused.

"You got a tattoo, for me," she said, ranting off into her own little world. "And although that's a little odd, it's still romantic if you look at it the right way and oh, Harry! You're so sweet!"

Harry suddenly found himself in a hug and winced as she brushed up against the tattoo.

"I've got to tell Luna!" she squealed and Harry watched her bounce away.

"Girls are . . . _strange_," he muttered to himself, picking up his magazine once more.


End file.
